I Chose To Live

I Chose To Live

I see why to be, I am a future of my past

Sometimes I feel I'm on the eve.

So I'm screaming words understanding they won't last

That's how I chose to live!

Even if I will have to fade away

Sink into oblivion without a splash

Then right before I go away

I'd rather show you one more flash!

You may see the smirk of mine

That's cause my soul is seamed

And maybe I have lost my mind

But I have chosen to live my dream.

I am The Winner I will gain!

I'm telling you, I'm on the eve

Just give me time to break the chain

That's how I chose to live!

I see why to be, and I have made my choice

I might be gone, but right before I leave,

Even if my lungs are torn and I don't have my voice

I'll scream: "That's How I Chose To Live!"

[cyb]

10.01.2008

14:03

10.01.2008

15:21

Things To Say

Things To Say

[inspiration: Lauryn Hill - So much things to say.mp3]

They've always got them things to say

Trying to judge my life

Their words just blow my mind away

Pain is my sister; Struggle is my wife...

Sometimes I'm tired of so much grind

And maybe I am blind,

But all I need is Peace of mind

You want to kill me? I don't mind...

You never hear them words I SCREAM

You want me to stand in line.

No man, you're wrong, It's not my dream,

It's yours, remember? I have mine!

I understand that you can't see...

But my neck's in pain of things I haul.

Killing my dreams you can't stop me...

But you can crucify my soul!

So I'm standing here with things to say

But you won't hear them, It's my life

So just step back, one step away

Hope is my sister, Love is still my wife.

[cyb]

09.01.2008

20:43

09.01.2008

21:14

I Get Out

I Get Out

[Inspiration: Lauryn Hill - I Get Out]

Remember me, I will get out!

Some day I'll break the chains

And I'll break free some day.

Please, hear the words I shout:

I will get out!

Of all the pain I feel

Of my bleeding heart that's full of seals

Of all the trials and all the fears

Of all the fake smiles and them tears

I will get out!

Of the prophecies I've found

Of myself and all them "Clowns"

Of this noise, this awful sound

Of the fact the earth is round

I will get out!

Sometimes I feel like I am bound

By all the chains that I've been given

By all the people I have crowned

Forgetting that we're all born even.

So these are the words I shout out loud

To reach the day I'll break the chain

The day will come when I get out

Never to return again...

I Will Get Out!

[cyb]

09.01.2008

19:56

09.01.2008

20:16

I Am

I Am

I’m learning to be quiet;

As quiet as a lamb

But Fuck this “Verbal Diet!”

I am just what I am!

They’re disappointed with my life

Although they’ve seen me cry

Sometimes the words stab me like knives

And no one wonders why.

They say that I am their disgrace

My wasted life is their mistake

They always want to change my ways

They want me to become a fake.

I’m your mistake, oh yes, I am!

I’m your disgrace, so what?

I’ll live MY life; survive your slams

Even if I’ll have to hut!

I am an Iceberg, yes, I am!

I have my words like iceberg’s tip

I have my thoughts like iceberg has its ram

So you can’t hurt me with your deadly whip!

I’m not ashamed of my mistakes

I am a product of my choice

I believe I do have what it takes

To be The Winner, so hear my voice!

I am, I am, oh yes, I am!

Whatever you will say...

Can’t shut me up, I’m not a lamb

Leave me alone, just go away!

There is no way I will stay quiet

As quiet as a lamb

I am a rebel, I’m a riot.

I am just what I am!..

[cyb]

08.01.2008

23:06

Meant To Shine

Meant to Shine

Sometimes I'm feeling insecure

Not sure if I will make it.

I try so hard to get the cure

That I'm forgetting not to break it.

Maybe I'm scared beyond the measure

In panic I start to use more words

I know that silence is the treasure

But I'm tiring down my vocal cords...

Sometimes I feel so cold

And angry at the world.

But you can never hold

Without becoming bold.

Sometimes I want to let it snow

Just Freeze my soul, forget my pain

Or maybe I should take the flow

Open my heart Let teardrops rain...

I really don't know if I'm cursed or blessed

Expressing ME I use the "Verbal Power"

Sometimes I'm afraid that I might be the next

And to talk to you I might have less than hour.

There is something else that I’ve got on my mind

People around me often say they're disappointed

Instead of living "Their Dreams" I am creating mine

"Being wrong is your life", man, that's their only point.

Maybe the fast lane elaborates me

Maybe I was meant to live in grind

And when it feels that it will break me

I realize that pain is blind...

The madness tends to blow my mind

Sometimes the peace is hard to find

I'm feeling in a bit of a bind

Sometimes I just need to unwind...

So, after all I feel secure

I'm sure that I will make it.

Being the Winner is my cure

I'll heal your pain if you can take it.

"Say" is never "Feel" and "Good" is never "Fine"

It got me really far, talking and scraping lines

So now I'm screaming: "Fuck being fine!"

Cause maybe I was meant to shine...

[cyb]

04.01.2008

20:20

08.01.2008

15:15

Dear Father!

Dear Father!

Dear Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name

I know I've been a sinner always playing the game

But if I just had a chance to live my life again

I guess I wouldn't change a moment and would just do the same...

Dear father, I need you, please lead me through

Cause the demons on my shoulder always play the fool

I know I got them tools but I don't know how to use them

And I start looking around the very second I lose them.

I know, Father, we haven't talked for so long

And that I only turn to you when I'm not feeling so strong

Sometimes instead of living my life I am getting along

And I am really scared Father, It's been so long...

Dear Father, my blood is mixed up with my sweat

I’m not ashamed of my life, and nothing do I regret

All of the fights I’ve had, and all the people I’ve met

Cause I have Loved, Father nothing is better than that.

Dear Father, I cope with all the people in me

"13 Clowns" is what they often call themselves

They're all ambitious, Father, sometimes they want to break free

But I won't let them, Father, I'll just let them dwell.

I need to fight my demons, Father, grant me a force

I'm on the edge, Father, Please, show me the way

For the kingdom and power and the glory are yours

Now and forever, Father, until the end of them days.

Amen.

[cyb]

28.12.2007

15:46

03.01.2008

15:31

A Glass Of Wine

A Glass Of Wine

I really try to understand
But sometimes I just don't get:
How can a man ADORE the girl
Not able to forget...

If this was my last breath
I'd let you know that you're my wealth.
You are the air I breathe
The one to shake my world with ease

This glass of wine knows what I feel
I'm dealing with some pain.
The Lord is a witness, it might kill
Cause life without you is the same.

I'm scrapping lines as the glass gets empty
My heart is pouring out.
I'm taabani of human's envy
So I'm bleeding words aloud.

Although no more my heart is broken
No more do you send me them tokens,
I feel you like I never did
Just follow me, I'll take the lead!

I'll lead you out of land of fears,
And through the valley of them tears,
Through smile and tears I will be near
Just call me baby, I will hear.

If this is my last breath
I want you to know that you're my wealth
The one that I adore,
The one I'm living for...

still there, still me, still in it, still do...
I L U

[cyb]
25.11.2007